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クスッと笑えるような、英語のジョークやなぞなぞです。お暇な時の読み物にどうぞ。不定期更新です。
楽しみながら、さりげなく英語の勉強にもなりますよ〜♪

英語のジョーク
 
英語のなぞなぞ
 


My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.

I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and so I asked why it was so long.

"Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters."
(訳)うちの子達はインターネットをするのが大好きで、ポストイットにパスワードを書きとめておくんです。ディズニーのパスワードが「ミッキーミニーグーフィープルート」って書いてあるのに気付いて、何でそんなにパスワードが長いの?って聞いてみました。息子は言いました。「パスワードは最低4キャラクターなくちゃだめだって、(ディズニーの)ホームページに書いてあったんだよ。」

Single women complain that all good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands. This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man.
(訳)独身の女性は素敵な男性は皆結婚していると文句を言う。同時に既婚女性の全ては、夫がだらしないと文句を言う。このことは素敵な男性なんてものは存在しないのだということを証明している。

Let's face it.
English is a silly language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.
We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways.
How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day
And as cold as hell on another?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down.
That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this poem
It ends.
ジョークというよりはポエムですね。これは訳すと意味をなさないので、訳は付けません。phone beeth とか結構笑えませんか?

What is the best evidence that Microsoft has a monopoly?
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Do you say, "Nine and five is thirteen," or "Nine and five are thirteen" ?
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How do you know when a lawyer is lying?
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Why did it take six boy scouts to help the little old lady cross the street?
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超頭の体操編です。 Epitaphというなぞなぞで、碑銘、すなわち墓石に刻まれた文章です。

   Two grandmothers, with their two granddaughters;
   Two husbands, with their two wives;
   Two fathers, with their two daughters;
   Two mothers, with their two sons;
   Two maidens, with their two mothers;
   Two sisters, with their two brothers;
   Yet only six in all lie buried here;
   All born legitimate, from incest clear.

   How might this happen?

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How many birth days does the average man have?
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How can a woman living in New Jersey, legally marry 3 men, without ever getting a divorce, be widowed, or becoming legally separated?
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